Growth isn’t always linear, blaha blaha. So what does that even implicate? I thought. Oswald Chamber is giving it a try to break it down like: “If you are going through a time of discouragement, there is a time of great personal growth ahead…” But sweet Oswald, I don’t like this deal at all. If I were to look back at my life, as I often do, I’d notice a pattern of events and emotions similar to an EKC monitor… beep… beep… beep… beep… safe and somewhat steady, sure, but for every high peak, I’ve had a deep valley. Who wants discouragement, only to gain personal growth? Anyone? It’s just for every step forward one takes, there’s a heavy stumble back — sometimes just a tiny centimeter or two, possibly three, while at other times it feels like miles. Why can’t progress in life rather require a steady, consistent climb uphill towards the goals…? You know, just the feeling when you struggle with something you have struggled with before, it feels like failure only because it reminds you of the other times you’ve had the exact same specific struggle, coming back to you again, and again. And again.
… But! I have recently reached a fresh perceptivity though: Progress doesn’t necessarily have to do anything about feeling better than we did the day before. It really doesn’t. Everyone is seeking growth, somehow, somewhen, somewhat in life, but what if that glorified and persistent happiness doesn’t come from a sense that every day of my life, EVERY DAY, I’m one centimeter closer to the ideal? (…mindsets like this can paralyze people, right?). May we instead of obsessing our challenges, move beyond them? May sound simple. But simple is good: Isn’t growth supposed to feel good? N-O. Apparently not. Maybe long-term, but not short-term. That’s the thing. Just like a muscle needs to be teared down, super-sore, devout, in order to grow stronger. *Flexing*.
We may never attain the ideal, but is okey. What I’ve attained though, is the fact that we can’t ever keep the happiness if we’re fixated on who we could, should, or would be – which doesn’t mean you can’t have goals, you can’t have growth, you can’t have peaks. Choose a mindset that doesn’t paralyze you, that doesn’t in any sense block your happiness.